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Combat Loneliness After 50: Therapist-Recommended Strategies

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As we age, it’s not uncommon to find ourselves spending more time alone. Data from the U.S. Department of Labor’s Time Use Survey indicates that social interactions with children, family members, and friends tend to decrease after our thirties. By the age of 70, the average individual spends about eight hours per day alone.

This trend can have significant implications for our mental and physical health. In 2019, the U.S. Surgeon General even declared loneliness a public health crisis.

However, loneliness is not inevitable. The prevalence of this feeling indicates that there are many others out there seeking connection, just like you. By reflecting on your current relationships and considering where to find new ones, you can increase your chances of staying connected as you age. Here are seven effective strategies to combat loneliness after 50, as recommended by therapists.

Loneliness is a feeling, not necessarily a state of being alone. Suzette Bray, a licensed therapist, points out that comparing ourselves to others with busier social lives can make us feel lonely even when we’re not alone.

“Recognizing that everyone’s journey is unique and that it’s okay to feel lonely sometimes helps mitigate negative self-judgment and opens up space to take steps to reach out and connect,” Bray advises.

Bray also recommends embarking on a journey of self-discovery by trying out different activities. This can help you identify new passions and connect with others who share similar interests.

“Sampling a lot of new activities can help folks figure out what they enjoy and can lead them to finding companions who also enjoy these activities,” says Bray.

Volunteering is another effective way to alleviate feelings of loneliness. It provides an opportunity to meet new people and experience a sense of shared purpose.

“Offer your skills or interests to a local organization that you resonate with,” suggests Ray Christner, a cognitive behavior therapy specialist.

If you’ve found yourself drifting apart from others due to the demands of daily life, make a conscious effort to reach out and reconnect. Bray suggests that reconnecting with past relationships can be “especially rewarding” due to shared history and mutual interests.

Maintaining and deepening existing relationships is also crucial. Colleen Marshall, vice president of clinical care at Two Chairs, recommends scheduling regular times to connect with important people in your life.

“Having a regularly scheduled visit for connection can help deepen a relationship you already have and also remind you when you might feel lonely that you have a touch point with someone you care about coming soon,” she says.

Practicing “loving kindness meditation” can also help foster feelings of closeness when you’re alone.

“This form of meditation goes beyond calming the mind; it nurtures a sense of compassion and love for oneself and others, reducing loneliness and easing solitude,” Bray explains.

Finally, writing can be a powerful tool for combating loneliness. Christner suggests sending handwritten notes to loved ones, expressing gratitude, sharing memories, or offering words of encouragement. This not only helps you feel less alone but can also brighten someone else’s day.

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Mindfulness

Emma Willis Prioritizes Brain Health Amid Bruce’s Dementia Battle

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Emma Heming Willis, wife of Hollywood actor Bruce Willis, has recently been focusing on her own ‘brain health’ while caring for her husband, who was diagnosed with frontotemporal dementia in 2022. Bruce Willis was initially diagnosed with aphasia in March 2022, and his dementia diagnosis was confirmed in February 2023. Since then, Emma and the entire family have been providing unwavering support to the star.

In the midst of caring for her husband, Emma has found it necessary to prioritize her own health. She shared in a recent interview, “My doctor will talk to me about my breast health, my cholesterol, my heart, but not about my brain.”

Post the birth of their youngest daughter, Evelyn, in 2014, Emma began experiencing brain fog. Despite medical professionals attributing it to “mommy brain”, she sought help from a brain specialist. “I’d never heard the term ‘brain health’ before,” she admitted to People magazine. With the aid of supplements and lifestyle adjustments, Emma has managed to regain her health, allowing her to focus on her husband’s deteriorating condition.

She shared, “I’ve been able to lean in on this new [caregiver] community I find myself in, so giving back to people who are on this journey as care partners has been super meaningful.” Emma recently launched her wellness brand, Make Time, emphasizing the importance of community.

Emma also took to social media to encourage her followers to “check in” on caregivers. She wrote, “Caregivers are our unsung heroes. We need to check in on them just as much as check in on the person they are caring for.” She urged her Instagram followers to support those caring for loved ones.

Emma’s call to action was shared shortly after she posted a throwback photo for Valentine’s Day, capturing a moment of joy with Bruce. The post, which showed the couple sharing a kiss against a snowy backdrop, garnered nearly 50,000 likes in less than a day. The photo, taken in 2010, serves as a poignant reminder of happier times as Bruce continues to battle his health condition.

Bruce’s daughter Tallulah, from his previous marriage to Demi Moore, commented on the post, “Love this,” while her sister Rumer wrote, “This is incredible.” Emma clarified for fans that the photo was taken “many many years ago! I think it was in 2010.”

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Unleashing Your Grandparent Power: Bonding, Wisdom, and Resilience

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As a grandparent, you hold a unique and cherished role in your grandchildren’s lives. While many grandparents are known for their delicious meals and generous financial support, the true value of grandparenting extends far beyond these material contributions. From imparting wisdom to providing emotional support, you have a wealth of experiences and knowledge to offer the younger generations in your family.

Building a strong bond with your grandchildren begins with dedicating time and effort to connect with them. This could involve visiting them more frequently, planning shared trips, or simply maintaining regular communication through calls, texts, or letters. As you invest in these relationships, you’ll find that the rewards are more than worth the effort.

Being a grandparent offers a unique opportunity to engage with the world from a fresh perspective. You can share your passions with a new audience, experience the world through younger eyes, and explore interests in collaboration with a curious young mind. Moreover, you can provide expanded support and encouragement, and use your wealth of experience to guide your grandchildren, helping them avoid the pitfalls you may have encountered as parents.

“Usually, grandparents have the benefit of interacting on a level that is once removed from the day-to-day responsibilities of parents. This can make it easier to develop a close bond with grandchildren,” the source material states. Whether near or far, your role as a grandparent can provide a sense of continuity and stability in your grandchild’s life. You can serve as a family historian, enriching your grandchild’s life with a deep sense of family tradition.

Interactions with grandparents can also instill in children positive attitudes towards aging and help them develop lifelong learning skills. A study from the University of Oxford found that “when grandparents are more engaged with grandchildren, those children have fewer behavioral and emotional issues.” Other research indicates that close bonds with grandparents can bolster a grandchild’s emotional resilience.

However, grandparenting isn’t always a walk in the park. It can sometimes make people feel prematurely old, and like parents, grandparents also have to deal with the challenges of raising children. Despite these occasional difficulties, the benefits of being a grandparent typically far outweigh the drawbacks. Involvement in your grandchildren’s lives can offer emotional gratification, fostering a stronger sense of belonging and usefulness within your family. Some research even suggests that noncustodial grandparenting can contribute to a longer life.

The role of a grandparent can vary greatly depending on the family’s needs and circumstances. For some, grandparenting involves a full-time commitment, while for others, it might mean a weekend visit, an afternoon playdate, or an occasional phone call or email exchange.

To establish a successful relationship with your grandchild, it’s crucial to set some ground rules with their parents. Be clear about your desired role in your grandchild’s life, understand and maintain the parents’ rules when the child is with you, and enforce any agreed-upon punishments for bad behavior. It’s also important to babyproof your home to ensure the safety of infants and toddlers.

Avoiding common grandparenting pitfalls can also help prevent potential family conflicts. These pitfalls may include trying to parent your grandchildren, buying their affection with gifts, overindulging the first few grandchildren, or ignoring boundaries.

Engaging in activities that align with both your interests and those of your grandchildren can help foster a deep, loving relationship. This could involve leisurely activities, outdoor adventures, sharing your hobbies or work, or even taking trips together. These shared experiences can create lasting memories and strengthen your bond.

For grandparents who live far from their grandchildren, maintaining a strong relationship might require extra effort. However, technology can help bridge the distance, allowing you to engage your grandchild in creative activities and keep up with their day-to-day lives.

In certain circumstances, grandparents may find themselves assuming full- or part-time responsibility for their grandchildren. While this can be more stressful than playing a part-time role, it can also be incredibly rewarding, offering a greater connection to your grandkid’s world and the satisfaction of providing a safe, nurturing environment.

Finally, step-grandparenting is a growing phenomenon due to the increasing number of blended families. While this can present complex relationships and awkward moments, with patience, understanding, and open communication, a step-grandparent can become an important part of a blended family.

Regardless of whether you’re a full-time grandparent, a step-grandparent, or a long-distance grandparent, you have the opportunity to strengthen family ties, provide your grandchildren with joyful memories and valuable life lessons, and cultivate a greater sense of purpose in your own life.

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Boost Your Joy After 50: Cultivate Emotional Intelligence

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Chip Conley, a renowned entrepreneur, author, and founder of the Modern Elder Academy, has discovered that reaching the age of 50 was a turning point in his life. According to Conley, this milestone age allowed him to cultivate high emotional intelligence, which he believes is the key to a more fulfilled and joyful existence.

In a first-person opinion piece for CNBC, Conley shared, “It sounds absurd, but at 63 years old, I can say that the last few decades have been a tale of two midlives: one very dark from my 30s- to -40s, and one truly splendid … starting when I hit 50.”

While writing his book, Learning to Love Midlife: 12 Reasons Why Life Gets Better with Age, Conley realized that his emotional intelligence had grown significantly. This growth had such a profound impact on his life that it became “a crucial ingredient for boosting happiness and resilience,” as he wrote for CNBC.

Emotional intelligence, or EQ, is defined by Psychology Today as “the ability to identify and manage one’s own emotions, as well as the emotions of others.” Just like any other mental health skill, enhancing your emotional intelligence allows you to reflect inward, acknowledge the present, understand your experiences, and find solutions, often in the form of new, healthy coping mechanisms.

Chris Rabanera, a psychotherapist and the founder of The Base EQ, explains, “Processing emotions means being able to recognize and acknowledge what you are experiencing emotionally, examining what is causing the emotions, exploring ways to solve emotional difficulties, and moving forward from the experience.”

Conley has found that increased emotional intelligence can lead to stronger community connections, deeper relationships, and a better ability to “emphasize with the emotions of others.” He has seen these benefits firsthand.

“As I age, I’ve softened … and not just around my belly. I experience less ego and more soul. I feel more deeply for others’ life circumstances,” he wrote.

Now in his sixties, Conley feels a broader compassion for others, is less emotionally reactive, and places greater value on his relationships. While emotional intelligence involves self-awareness, it also requires understanding the feelings of others.

Connor Moss, LMFT, a therapist with Pacific Psychotherapy, explains that those with high emotional intelligence often exhibit “genuine curiosity about the emotional lives of those around them.” He adds, “Asking questions rooted in genuine interest about how others are feeling and navigating their emotional worlds can expand your understanding and potentially deepen your relationships.”

However, not everyone has high emotional intelligence. Experts say that those with lower EQ often lack self-awareness, sensitivity, and good listening skills, and their capacity for empathy may be limited. James Miller, a psychotherapist and host of LIFEOLOGY Radio, explains, “A person with a lower EQ will not ask empathetic questions. Instead, they will use facts and data to converse and often are blind to social cues.”

The encouraging news is that emotional intelligence can be developed with effort and time. As Conley eloquently points out, emotional intelligence tends to grow with age. So, it’s never too late to start cultivating this life-enhancing skill.

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