Health
Could Separate Beds Help You Sleep Better?
Health Points
- Nearly one-third of U.S. adults choose to sleep separately from their partner to improve rest
- Sleep divorces can benefit sleep quality but require open discussion and compromise
- Older adults may be less likely to practice sleep divorces than younger generations
Sharing a bed with a partner isn’t always a recipe for restful sleep. According to new research from the American Academy of Sleep Medicine, about one in three American adults have tried a “sleep divorce”—meaning they sleep in a separate room, or at least a separate bed, from their partner. This growing trend might surprise some, but experts say it can be a practical way to prioritize better sleep and overall health, especially as we get older.
“Sleeping in separate sleep spaces may lead to improved sleep for both partners,” explained Dr. Seema Khosla, a spokesperson for the American Academy of Sleep Medicine. She noted this is particularly true “if both partners disturb each other—for example, one partner snores, and the other wakes them to roll over.”
The National Sleep Foundation’s latest survey highlights that while 31% of people overall opt for separate sleeping arrangements, the numbers shift by age. Millennials (ages 35 to 44) are most likely to embrace a sleep divorce, with nearly 40% reporting the practice. For those 65 and older, the number drops to just 18%.
Reasons for sleeping apart vary. Many point to mismatched schedules, work-related stress, or disruptive habits like snoring. Some couples also make other adjustments to avoid disturbing their partner, such as going to bed at different times or using a silent alarm. Interestingly, it’s often men who move to another space, and the survey focused primarily on those who’ve felt disrupted by their partner.
Dr. Yue Leng, an associate professor of psychiatry at the University of California, San Francisco, emphasized that sleep divorce can be a thoughtful approach to boosting sleep quality, especially for those experiencing sleeplessness. “It’s something to be seriously considered if you’re looking to improve your sleep,” Leng said.
Dr. Michelle Drerup, a psychologist at Cleveland Clinic, pointed out that sleeping separately is sometimes medically necessary. “Sleeping apart can be a crucial recommendation when one partner has REM sleep behavior disorder, which leads to dream-enactment behaviors that may inadvertently injure a bed partner.” However, she cautioned, “sleep divorces don’t work for everyone.” For some, sleeping alone can leave them feeling less secure, leading to lighter, more vigilant sleep.
There’s also the question of intimacy. Drerup noted, “Having a bed partner present may provide reassurance, decrease sleep disruptions, and reduce insomnia. But for some, sleeping apart can decrease intimacy.” Balancing togetherness with a solid night’s sleep is personal—what works for one couple might not for another.
Crucially, separating for sleep doesn’t signal relationship trouble. “There should be an open discussion amongst bed partners to discuss what is the best fit for their sleep patterns and life,” Drerup advised. Strategies might include sleeping together some nights and apart on others or making minor tweaks like changing the room temperature or using earplugs.
Dr. Khosla offered a practical tip for couples trying sleep divorce: “Prioritize time with your bed partner. Wind down together in bed before moving to separate spaces when you’re ready for sleep.”
Ultimately, it’s about compromise and finding what works. Not all couples have the space or the same willingness to sleep separately, but for many, the benefits—especially better sleep and improved well-being—can be worth the adjustment.
