Health
8 Common Phrases Hurting Relationships
Health Points
- Seemingly small phrases can impact relationship health.
- Rephrasing can encourage better communication and connection.
- Therapists recommend mindful language to support emotional well-being.
The words you choose with your partner matter, especially in everyday moments. Even minor remarks can create distance or foster closeness, according to relationship therapists.
Instead of challenging your partner with, “Give me an example,” therapists advise approaching with genuine curiosity if you want to understand and grow together.
“There’s a toxic approach that puts our partner on the defensive and creates a disconnect, and an approach from genuine curiosity and understanding, which helps us grow,” says Lauren Consul, LMFT.
Using “I hear you, but…” often dismisses your partner’s feelings. Try sharing your perspective by saying, “I hear how upset you are about this, and I have a different perspective. Is it OK if I share that now?”
Saying “This again?” can make your partner feel dismissed and powerless. Natasha Deen, LCPC, NCC, points out that invalidating repeated concerns can damage dialogue and the sense of partnership.
“This is invalidating to a partner who wants to discuss something that may be weighing on them,” Deen notes.
Statements like, “I’m sorry you feel that way,” shift blame instead of acknowledging responsibility. Brianna Morgis, PhD, LMFT, suggests more direct ownership: “I’m sorry that I made you feel that way.”
Minimizing statements such as “That’s not something to be upset over” can cause your partner to feel isolated in their emotions. Ashley Weigl, LLMSW, MPH, recommends asking questions to understand rather than judge.
Comparisons like “My best friend’s partner doesn’t care about this” often lead to resentment. Instead, focus on your partner’s unique experience by asking what makes the issue upsetting for them.
Phrases such as “Why can’t you just let this go?” may stall progress in resolving issues. Opening up honest conversations around recurring concerns can help both partners move forward together.
Telling your partner, “If you would just calm down, everything would be fine,” might make them withdraw. Recognize their feelings and offer support to nurture openness and trust.
Looking to strengthen your relationship? Mindful communication can help you build a more loving, understanding connection with your partner at any age.